Friday, July 26, 2013

Almost There/Pensivity of Thought on Becoming a Father (A very long title, so bear with it)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
       Tonight is becoming increasingly closer to the birth of our little girl, and I have to admit that I am incredibly excited to meet this little miracle of life. Lejana seems to be consistently contracting, and that means that we could have a little girl very, very soon!
       So, now I sit here, typing away, bracing for whatever lies ahead. I have to be honest- I am straight-up terrified to bring a child into the world. I don't know the first thing about being a parent- I'm still trying to figure out how to be me, and trying to limit the mistakes I make every single day. How am I supposed to show this perfectly innocent little girl what life is, or how to behave, or where to go, or what to do, or how to do it? Isn't that a scary thought. I just feel so inadequate, and it scares the garbage out of me.
       I am very grateful for the loving people around me. That is a great blessing, and the examples that I've been able to coexist with have truly impacted me for the best. I just hope that I can put into work the things that I have seen, and be able to, with effort of course, help my daughter- whom I love beyond comprehension already- function as a proper figure of protection, learning, and help for her throughout her life.
       So there it is, my worries, my hopes, and my dreams- somewhat simplified.
       On the other note, Lejana is grabbing my neck right now, telling me exactly what I want to hear- she's coming, it's time.

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